things I’m feeling guilty about right now

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1) sleeping on my stomach

2) not cleaning the mouse cage

3) potato skins and poutine

4) not baking cookies for the Christmas craft fair

5) no cardio, like zero, in three or four years

6) second (okay, third) day hair

Clearly I’d rob banks or smoke crack if my conscience wasn’t already so full.

20 thoughts on “things I’m feeling guilty about right now

    • It’s the chiropractor – he’s ruined me forever. Apparently, it’s bad for your back and neck to sleep on your stomach. Plus, it is supposed to give you wrinkles. I can assure you I’m currently getting more wrinkles from worrying about silly things than from anything else.

      • Oh! That makes sense. I try to fall asleep on my side, but I refuse to take responsibility for decisions made by my body while I’m asleep.

        And wrinkles? They’re a sign of a happy life, well-lived. Never trust a woman without laugh lines, I always say. Or as my Brit husband might say, “She has a face like a smacked arse!”

        Can you tell I was born *without* the guilt gene? Case in point, I’m lying on the sofa while Michael roasts a chicken, cleans out the mice (we have mcie too!) and engages the children in a project creating a Christmas gift for his mum. Guilt-free! (I’m low on iron! The spinach didn’t do its job, so I’m waiting for my supplements to kick in!) Can you tell I was born *with* the justification gene?

        It’s not that I don’t make mistakes, I’ve said and done plenty of things I regret, but I have a theory that I’ve been kind, helpful and funny more times than I’ve been a rude or mean, so I feel it kind of cancels out my shittier moments as a human being. The 80/20 rule. (OMG, am I a monster?!)

      • It’s called karma and it makes you a truly decent human being. People working with the 50/50 rule might be approaching monsterhood. I hear Guinness is good for low iron – so get Michael on it so you can start working on your blog. I’m waiting…

      • Of course! I’ve noticed that there’s an inverse relationship between how long it takes me to write a post and how much people like it. It’s almost as though if I’m passionate enough about something that it just kind of falls out of my brain, people find it more interesting. We need more people blogging about bullying. I don’t think you can go wrong if you’re passionate (which I assume you are) about the topic.

  1. 1) ditto above, what don’t I know about sleeping on my front. Wrinkles?
    2) you’re embracing the whole shabby chic thing for the mouse – it’s not going to care (or be round all that long….)
    3) ok, I looked up poutine…WHAT THE???!!!! We probably can’t talk, growing up on a diet of Vegemite…
    4) baking. Do you love it? If not, you are just going to be out Nigella-d by some domestic goddess with a platter of reindeer biscuits & a smug attitude. Who needs it?
    5) cardio – you vacuum enthusiastically & occasionally run to your car. Cardio.
    6) eventually it self cleanses anyway & that’s what hats are for.

    You’re welcome…😁

  2. Love you! I too feel guilty about stomach sleeping, until I’m sleepless and figure f that Chiro, I need sleep… and I can pay him or a physio to deal with the sleep injuries!!

    Shaved my head – totally no idea when I wash it or not… used to be a daily washer. Liberation (in the look of a butch woman, which I like less, but it’s a good cause!)

    Can’t back you on cardio – I do it… gosh darn I hate it and I whinge the WHOLE time, but it gets done…

    • Re: the cardio: “I know I should, I know I should” needs to turn into “I think I can, I think I can” for me. Glad someone’s getting it done! So envious of your will power and your shaved head.

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